Earlier today I waved good-bye to my son after getting him settled in his dorm room to
start his Freshman year at Greenville University. This is a major milestone in his life, and
it makes me wonder, did I do all I could to prepare him for life?
I’m sure the answer is no, but that’s not really the question. The real question is did I do
enough? Of course, I still have plenty of opportunities ahead of me to continue to instill
in him what he needs for adulthood. It’s not like he’s a bird leaving the nest that will
never be seen again. But is he ready?
Parents put a lot of pressure on themselves to prepare their children for adulthood, and
honestly, it’s probably never been more complicated than it is now. The internet, social
media, smart phones, and the growing impact of AI only create challenges to navigate
that honestly, most adults haven’t figured out for themselves. Add to that rapidly
changing social, political, and spiritual cultures that present huge pressures on our kids
that will sweep away all in their path if not diligently discussed. Honestly, who is up to
the task?
During the high school years my wife and I recognized our waning control over our son.
He got his license, a job, and soon enough, a car. That level of freedom presents whole
new parenting challenges. Add to that a smart phone and a girlfriend, and we realized
we had become more counselor, guide, and advisor than principal. Our parenting had to
adjust significantly. The clock was ticking, so there were things that had to be imparted,
like changing a flat tire and cooking a meal (OK, I admit failure on that one).
Looking back, I have regrets. I wish I had gotten him involved in a thriving church youth
group. I wish I had been more “hands on” when it came to having quiet times. There are
too many to list. But the good news is, we have the kind of relationship where he can
come to me with his questions and struggles and know that I’ll listen, try to help where I
can, and love him no matter what. The most important thing now is to maintain the
relationship and pray, pray, pray.
Just as my son has so much still to learn, so do I. None of us, whether we are 18 or 88
have it all figured out. That’s always been true, but even moreso today when our world
changes by the hour. We can all benefit from being better students of ourselves, our
loved ones, and of God. My relationship with my son is a sorry example of the
relationship God offers us. He’s got so much still to show us. Maintain the relationship
and pray, pray, pray.
