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It is a common philosophy for parents to tell their children that they can decide for themselves what religion they follow. Let me be frank: This is a terrible idea. Unless parents equip their children to make theological decisions, they are completely unprepared in this area of life. We help our children learn to drive, decide on a college or job, and so many other things, why would we leave them entirely on their own when it comes to what is the most important decision of their life?
This usually happens because the parents themselves are ill-equipped to make such a decision. Atheists don’t normally tell their children this. They are convinced there is no God, and so they don’t want their children falling for the “false” idea of religion. They train their children with their beliefs. The same goes for those who hold firmly to Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or any of the other major world religions. Can you imagine a Muslim dad sitting his children down and telling them that mommy and daddy are devout Muslims, but the kids need to make up their own minds? Absolutely not! That will never happen. Children who do not follow Islam will be disowned.
It’s typically those parents who simply haven’t really bothered to make up their own minds about what they believe. They’re technically agnostics. They don’t have the tools for making theological decisions because they were never trained. Thus, they lack the skills to pass them on to their kids. So, the easy way out is to say, “Make up your own minds.” Guess what most of those kids will grow up to do? They will follow their parents’ example and not bother to make a decision, thus continuing the spiritual apathy for another generation.
The only way for theological decisions to be made is in community. We have to rely on the learning of others. But more than that, we have to experience faith in action. Probably no one followed Jesus simply because He won all His debates with the Pharisees. No, they followed Him because He lived it, and they eventually did too. Until being part of a worshipping community, “doing theology” is as viable as explaining color to a blind person. You can’t learn to waltz by reading a book about it. Until you actually get on the dance floor, you can’t know you’ve learned it. Faith is the same way. Theology is learned through putting it into practice, and you do so with a partner.
And just as dances have changed over the centuries, with many long forgotten, theological beliefs and practices fall out of use and are replaced by new ones (not always for the better). That’s part of why it’s important for us to realize we aren’t just dancing with each other, we are dancing with the saints of the past, whose deep wisdom and devotion can inspire our own. There are so many who are willing to guide us in our faith journey if we have the courage to ask. Don’t dance alone.
